Tell Me Why You Love Me (TMWYLM) Page 12

  I squatted down, pushing my legs close to my chest and resting my head on my knees. "Do you remember the sea, mom? It was always nippy at this time of year, but, even then, I still wanted to jump in. You always had to pull me back so I wouldn't..." I closed my eyes as I felt a gentle smile on my face. The nostalgia flowed within me and I no longer felt the chill of the air. "The same was when I climbed that tree. Do you remember, mom? I ended up climbing almost all the way to the top. I wanted to go higher, but the branches were too thin. But I still wanted to climb higher..." I buried my head so my cheeks were sheltered from the biting wind. "But right now, I'm afraid to jump in... And I can't even reach the lowest branch..." I whispered to myself.

  I slowly opened my eyes and the bitter wind was there, stinging my face. I decided to head back before my hair became a huge knot and before I turned into a popsicle.

  Mom... I wonder if you can hear me? I wonder if you can read my thoughts right now. If you can, please tell me what I'm thinking. I don't even know...

  As I reached the villa, I slipped off my shoes and shuffled myself up the stairs, shivering slightly. I admit I'm not resistant to the cold, so it was only natural for it to affect me a little.

  "Freesia!" I heard a voice call to me and I turned to see Craig running after me, a grin on his face. "hey, wanna play with me?" He asked, jumping up and down.

  "Leave her be, Craig! Give her space!" I heard Joe called to him.

  I shook my head and looked at Craig with gentle eyes. His brown ones were as alluring as the boys'. I'm sure he would turn into a lady's man when he’s older. I placed a hand on his head and smiled. "Actually, I think it would help me somewhat. I'd love to." I told him with a serene voice.

  I saw his face light up and he jumped on the step. "Yay!" He proclaimed, before grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me along upstairs. "You can come and play in my room, Freesia!" He spoke, a grin as big as his face could allow him to have stuck on his face.

  I couldn't help but smile. He was just too cute! ...Wait, his room? It'll be the first time I've been in Craig's room, I wonder how his is...

  When we got to his door, the short boy opened it and let me go in first. He's such a cute gentleman! But, my jaw almost dropped to the floor when I saw what was in front of me... Well, if there was a floor.

  His room was cluttered top and bottom with anything and everything. Games, clothes, toys, books, DVDs, CDs, everything!

  Now THIS was a boy's room!

  "Oops, sorry, Freesia! I forgot to tidy my room." He confessed, laughing sheepishly as he hopped over everything, finding small empty spaces where there was no clutter. He raked a pile of games and clothes off his bed and threw himself on it, sitting with his legs crossed and his eyes on me showing me a goofy grin.

  I gave him a small laugh and made my way to his bed, making sure to not step on anything breakable. "So," I started as I sat myself on the edge of his bed. "What do you want to play?" I asked him, a soft smile on my face. Even if I was in a bad mood, something about this boy made me smile.

  I saw him rock back and forth as he looked at the ceiling. "Um... Actually, I wanted to ask you what's up." He admitted and stopped rocking, and looked at me with his deep brown eyes. "Why are you distancing yourself from Joe, Josh and Jordan? I heard you had a fight, but-"

  "It wasn't a fight." I corrected him under my breath. "I just... Stuff happened and it's messed us all up, I think." I tried explaining to him without giving too much away. The boy was young, and I didn't want him to jump to any conclusions. "I'm not distancing myself from them, I'm just letting them have some space. We all need time to think, and it won't really help if we are around each other."

  I saw Craig lean to me, with a look of concern. "But, why aren't they distancing themselves from each other? To me, it looks like they've just thrown you away and left you on your own." He explained and then threw himself onto his back and kicked his legs in the air. "Even Jordan's speaking to them. I heard from Josh that he went ballistic at him... And you. I thought you would be the last person he'd ever go ballistic on..."

  "Wait, what? Why?" This time, I was the one to lean towards Craig. "He's a jerk! Of course he'll get mad at me. He doesn't treat me that much different because I'm a girl, you know!" I told him.

  I saw Craig avoid my gaze. "Uh, that's not what I meant." He quickly gave me a glance, but not for long. "Just... Forget what I said. It doesn't matter." He mumbled.

  Okay, what the hell? The dude's hiding something... "Hey, I want to know what you meant!" I retorted, pouting a little. "Tell me!"

  I saw a smirk play on his face as Craig sat up. "Nope!"

  I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him playfully. "Tell me, or you'll regret it!" I threatened him.

  He shook his head, clamping his mouth shut. I pulled him by the shoulders so his back was facing me and I grabbed him in a one-armed head lock. I placed my fist on his head and noogied him to no end. "Tell me, or I'll keep going!" I smirked, speaking through my teeth.

  "Ah! No! Freesia, stop!" I heard him laugh as he tried to pull himself away. I held him tighter with every on of his struggles.

  "That's enough! Free! Let go!" His laughter became contagious and I started.

  "No way, little boy!" I stated.

  Somehow, he managed to wriggle himself free and then he pounced on top of me and suddenly we were in a wrestling match. I have to say, it was fun. We laughed as we kicked, head-butted, headlocked and pinned each other down.

  "I'm not going easy on you because you're a girl, y'know!" Craig stated to me a smirk on his face.

  I smirked back. "I didn't think so!" I said as I managed to push myself up and grab Craig in a headlock and pinned him to the bed. "I'm not going easy on you, either!" I laughed as he struggled to break free.

  We both heard Craig's door open and we froze to the spot, me still holding him in a headlock. "Hey, Craig you wanna-" It was Josh. He froze to the spot when he saw me in the room and his eyes averted mine. "Oh, Free... It doesn't matter, I'll-"

  "Hey, wait!" I yelled at him, a stern tone in my voice. "Don't mind me, just ignore me!" I released Craig and sat on the bed, waving my hand as if to ignore him.

  Craig slipped off the bed and made his way towards Josh. "We'll talk outside, 'kay?" He turned to me and I nodded in agreement and left the two boys to converse outside of my presence.

  Wow... That actually does sound like they're pushing me away...

  After a few minutes, Craig re-entered his room with a smile on his face. I tried to smile back, fighting the negative thought away. "He alright?" I asked him as he made his way over his games, books and clothes.

  "Yeah, he was asking if I wanted to play baseball with him and Joe." He jumped onto his bed beside me. "I declined." He added.

  "What? Why?" I asked him. The dude should never decline a baseball game! Ever!

  He gave me a sheepish shrug and avoided my gaze. "I just... Didn't feel like it. I wanted to hang out with you for a while." He explained.

  My eyes widened and I confronted him. "You don't feel sorry for me, do you?" I leaned in to him and his eyes narrowed. I gave him a small laugh and slapped his back. "Honestly, you don't need to worry about me, Craig. I'm fine. I know you're itching to join them, so go!" I pushed him off the bed, forcing him to his feet.

  He turned to face me with worried eyes. I responded with a gentle smile. "Thanks, Free." He whispered, before going after Josh, out the door and leaving me alone. Again.

  I heaved a heavy sigh and looked around. There was no point in moping... And his room seriously was a tip! I need to remind him to tidy it later. Geez, now I sound like a nagging mom!...

  I slid off his bed and left the room, closing the door carefully behind me.

  Chapter 16

  Now what am I supposed to do? I slowly walked down the corridor towards the stairs, contemplating on what to do.

  I made my way down the stairs and to the living area, quickly glancing at the empty couch, just hoping somebody was s
itting there so I could talk to them. But, no such person. Just the weather man on the TV.

  I threw myself onto the couch and grabbed the remote from beside me and flicked through the channels.

  Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Shit.

  Seriously, would it hurt them to put something good on TV!? My boredom was increasing and I threw myself back, turning off the TV and staring at the ceiling.

  Okay, I think boredom was an understatement. But there wasn't anything I could do on my own! I sat up, folding my legs and rocking back and forth. Was there really anything to do on my own, besides read? I wasn't in a reading mood right now.

  In fact, I wasn't really in a mood to do anything...

  And then my stomach rumbled. Oh, food might be a good idea.

  I jumped off the couch and headed to the kitchen. As I walked into the kitchen, I looked out the window to the hill. I saw the three boys setting up baseball and all of them with smiles on their faces, laughing. The sight made me smile. They are having fun, so I'm glad. Better than them being all depressed.

  I opened the fridge to find nothing of interest. To be fair, I hadn't eaten dinner last night, so I was starving! Instead, I opted for a bagel in the cupboard and munched on it for a while, slowly to pass the time.

  Can you tell I was bored? Because I was. So much so, I resorted to eating as slow as I could so I had something to do. But my thoughts turned to the boys playing baseball. I watched from the window as one of the twins were up to bat. Almost instantly, I could tell it was Josh. His hold of the bat was all wrong, but he made it work... Somehow.

  I sat there for a while, watching the boys until I felt bored. I decided to go back upstairs, thinking of what to do on the way.

  I couldn't really go anywhere since Kyle and Miriam were at work, Joe and Josh are in no way wanting to speak to me at all, Craig's off playing with them and he's already entertained me today... All that's left is...

  "Hey, Brat." I heard a man's voice. Speaking of the devil... I looked up to see him leaning against the wall of the corridor, a scowl on his face. "You do realise Craig wanted to stay with you, right?"

  I walked passed him and shoved my hands in my jean pockets. "Yeah, but he also wanted to play baseball. Besides, I'm not as out of it as I was earlier, so it's fine." I shrugged, smiling weakly, before I felt a hand grab my shoulder.

  "Didn't you mean to say 'I'm fine'?" He asked me, turning me to face him and his alluring emerald eyes.

  I couldn't lie when I saw them. They were just too much... And the emotion held behind them, I couldn't work out what it was but there was something about it that I couldn't lie to. Instead, I refused to answer, leaving the two of us in an awkward silence for a while.

  A heavy sigh from Jordan broke the silence and he released my shoulder. "Come with me." He stated, grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me along, slightly surprising me.

  He dragged me into my room, closing the door behind him, and taking me to my bookcase. Unknown to me, Jordan had at some point slipped his hand from my wrist and clenching my hand instead. I saw him point at the photo of me and my mom and I stared at it. "You see that girl, there? She went through a lot, but still managed to smile. She lost someone precious to her, but she still managed to be happy..."

  I looked to Jordan, seeing his eyes looking at the photo with a gentle smile on his face. "What are you getting at, Jordan?" I asked him bluntly. I didn't want the atmosphere to change all mushy.

  He gave me a laugh and glanced at me momentarily and, for that short moment, I swear his eyes were a far brighter green than usual. "What I'm getting at is, you shouldn't be so distraught about something like this. Sure, Josh kissed you. But he's repenting, it wasn't intentional. I talked to him about it and he was more concerned about you than his mistake." I'm not sure if it was my imagination or not, but I felt Jordan's grip tighten a little. "I'm not that inconsiderate of a person to be mad at him for something unintentional. Pissed off, yes, but not mad."

  I looked at him as he stared at the photo. I felt his eyes were no longer set on me, but on my mother. I lowered my eyes and looked at my feet. "But, every time I try to talk to him, he runs away or avoids me-"

  Jordan shrugged. "He's a scaredy cat. Always has been since Kindergarten. It was either me or Joe that stood up for him, if not the both of us." He told me, his hand now lightly drawing circles in my palm.

  Okay, I had to say when I realised that, I couldn't help but blush. In all honesty, though, I don't even think Jordan was aware he was doing it. But the fact I knew, made me feel a little... Insecure? No... Embarrassed? I guess somewhere in between.

  Maybe it was because of this feeling, I ended up gripping Jordan's hand tighter. "But when he wanted to talk to Craig, I tried speaking to him but he didn't answer or even look my way. He didn't even want to be in the same room as me. And when I looked at Joe this morning, he didn't say anything to me, he just gave me a quick glance and then-"

  "Look, Josh is as stubborn as they get and he's blaming himself for hurting you. Joe's trying to help him, so he can't let you in, either." Jordan butted in. He released my hand and turned. "Speaking of which, I'm going to check up on him and the others. I don't trust them when they're off on their own." he explained.

  As he tried to walk away, I grabbed his arm, feeling his body jerk a bit. "What about you?" I asked him, my voice quaking a little. I saw his eyes widen.

  "Me?" I nodded at him and his expression seemed unchanged. "What the fuck are you on?" He asked me, completely confused.

  My eyes widened. "You're not mad at me?" I asked him, taking a step closer.

  We were quite close, but we've been closer before so it wasn't unusual, but for some reason I thought I saw Jordan blush a little. But he turned his head away too quick for me to know completely. He laughed a little. "What are you saying? I was never mad at you!" He stated, turning to face me again with a gentle smile on his face, and no sign of a blush. "You're an idiot, sometimes, brat." He added, placing his hand on the top of my head and ruffling up my hair.

  I couldn't help but smile a little, feeling my eyes mist a little. "Really?... I'm glad... I thought you were mad because of yesterday." I whispered quietly, but loud enough for Jordan to hear. I looked at him to see a most definite blush on his face.

  This time, he tried to hide it by raising his hand to his face, but that didn't work. It made me giggle a little and I was repaid by him stroking the top of my head.

  As I released my grip from his arm, Jordan pulled my body closer to his, holding my head to his chest. "Idiot... How can I be angry with you, of all people?" Huh, the same thing Craig told me... But he never said- "You are the last person I'd be mad at." he added, as I felt his lips rest in my hair and his arms wrap around me, gently cradling me.

  I couldn't help but have an incredibly red blush on my face. But it didn't matter... My face was hidden in Jordan's chest. And I couldn't help but nuzzle it further in and return his hug.

  It felt safe in his arms. I can't explain it any other way. I felt like I could cry without being afraid, scream without being a pain, complain without being a nuisance... I felt safe.

  I felt a hand rub my back reassuringly and Jordan held me tighter. "Y'know..." He started, speaking with his chin on my head. "You really have no boobs."

  I reached my hand to the back of his neck and pinched it as hard as I could. "Hey! That was uncalled for!" He retorted, releasing me and rubbing the back of his neck.

  "Well, so was your comment!" I stated, folding my arms and glowering at him. Of all the things to say, he had to say THAT!

  The guy is a complete jerk!

  As I was cursing him in my mind, whilst he rubbed the back of his neck, we heard a knock at my door before it opened. I turned to see one of the twins, a sheepish look on their face.

  "Free, you seen Jordan anywhere?" He asked. It was Joe. I was hoping it was Josh...

  I gave him a smile and stepped to the side. "If you mean this jerk, then you're in luck!" I stated, casting a
sharp glare towards Jordan, who just gave me a wry smile in return.

  "Thanks..." I heard Joe whisper as he turned his attention off the floor and to the black haired man standing rather close to me. "I sorta need your help with something."

  Jordan stopped rubbing his neck and gave his younger brother a concerned look. "What's wrong?" He asked, making his way to my door.

  As he passed me, I swear I felt his hand brush mine purposely. But I must have imagined it, considering he didn't seem to be in a teasing mood at the moment.

  He leaned on the wall beside Joe and I saw Joe's gaze quickly glance at me, and he whispered something to Jordan. It was out of my hearing, but I'm sure I saw him mouth 'Josh' and, with that, I wanted to listen in. I decided against it, knowing he must have whispered it because he didn't want me to hear.

  Instead, I waltzed towards my window and looked out to the hill where I expected to see Craig and Josh playing baseball or at least talking, but no.

  Josh was sitting on the top of the hill, looking out to the sea, and Craig seemed to be just throwing the ball in the air and catching it. My focus didn't stay on Craig for long, backtracking to Josh. He seemed to be thinking over something. It looked, from here, to be a solemn expression on his face. It made me worry a little...

  "Hey, brat!" Jordan's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned to face him. He tilted his head a little, indicating out my door. "We're getting food. You coming?" he asked me, a scowl on his face as usual.

  I took one last look out my window to the forlorn, brown haired boy, then made my way out my room. Jordan walked beside me with a fair separation between the two of us, but close enough to feel acknowledged. Joe was walking a little ahead of us, obviously ignoring me. That pissed me off a little.

  He could at least look at me! I know he isn't speaking to me because he knows he'll say something he doesn't, but still... He doesn't have to alienate me for fuck's sake!

  "Aren't you curious?" I heard a man's voice and turned my head a little to see Jordan's emerald eyes giving me that look again. "That look of yours tells me you want to know what we talked about, right?" he spoke rather arrogantly, in a voice loud enough for Joe to obviously hear.