Tell Me Why You Love Me (TMWYLM) Read online

  I turned slightly, opening one of my eyes and then turning back around. "This is my room. I can go back to sleep if I want." I stated with a groggy voice. I waved my hand to shoo him. "Go back to your room and sleep." I said.

  "Alright, if you want it that way..." I heard Jordan start and I heard him slip out of the quilt and onto his feet.

  I snuggled back into the quilt with a content smile on my face. But not for long.

  I let out a shriek of surprise, when I felt a pair of hands get underneath my body and pick me up. "Hey! I'm trying to sleep here!" I yelled at Jordan, who had me in his arms, bridal style. I hit his chest in protest. "Put me down!" I yelled at him, kicking my legs.

  "Hmmm.... Nope!" I heard Jordan's playful voice and my eyes widened with a sudden realisation.

  I took my hand and set it on Jordan's forehead and he looked at me in surprise. I relaxed my eyes and removed my hand from his forehead with a smile. "Good. Your fever's gone..." I whispered, before nestling my head into his chest. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll sleep here, since you're not planning on putting me down." I gave him a smirk with my eyes still closed.

  "Hm, fine with me." he stated, with little surprise in his voice and he made his way out my room with me still in his arms.

  Somehow, I felt like I was walking on air. I couldn't explain it. The feeling of Jordan's hands grasping my body so I didn't fall and the heart beat from his chest resonating through my ear…

  I no longer felt concern, worry or pain.

  "I'm putting you down." I heard Jordan as we headed to the living room. I never meant to, but I gave him a disappointed look. "What?" he asked with a perplexing look in his emerald eyes.

  I turned my head into his chest and moaned a little. "You’re comfy." I mumbled.

  It didn't take long for me to feel gravity suddenly throw me down as Jordan dropped me on the couch. "Well tough, you little brat!" Jordan stated with a smug grin on his face. "You're heavy and I'm hungry! Can't eat with you in my arms now, can I?" He gave me a wry smile and headed to the kitchen.

  I sat up and looked over the back of the couch, my arm swinging. "I hope it was more the latter, than the fact I was heavy!" I stated to him, throwing myself back down and looking at the ceiling.

  I heard him laugh a little and he shouted from the kitchen. "You should eat, too! Or you'll never grow any boobs"

  "Quit analysing my body, perv!" I interrupted him, a frown on my face.

  He was right with the fact I should eat, and I should. But I just didn't feel that hungry...

  "Mornin' Free!" I heard a playful voice sing to me. It was Josh. His twin brother joined him soon after, both of them sitting on the armchair beside me. "Feeling better?" He asked me.

  I nodded with a soft smile. "Yeah. I'm glad we acted as soon as we did, so we only had the fever last night." I glanced to the kitchen, seeing Jordan with a cup in his hands, taking sips. I leaned over the couch and gave him a smirk. "And I thought you were gonna eat!" I yelled to him.

  I saw him glare at me and then give me the finger, sticking his tongue out like a child simultaneously. I glowered back at him, receiving a smirk and then turning back to the twins.

  "So, I've noticed you guys do everything together." I stated, leaning forward and showing a smile.

  They gave me a grin. "Well, we ARE twins after all!" This time, Joe answered. They both looked at one another in a mirror smirk.

  I laughed at them. "I think I noticed that. But seriously, you guys do practically everything together! Don't you have different hobbies?" I asked, my voice full of curiosity.

  The two boys looked at one another and grinned. "We'll tell you if you tell us!" They answered simultaneously.

  I tilted my head sideways with a blank look. "What do you mean I tell you? Tell you what?"

  The twins both leaned closer to me with smug looks on their faces. "About how you can tell us apart!" they stated.

  Oh, that's right! I haven't told anybody yet!

  "I'm intrigued." I heard a voice from behind me and I turned around to see Jordan making his way to the seat on the couch just beside me. For some reason, he gave me his cup, half full with coffee. 'drink the rest.' he mouthed to me.

  I glowered at him and then took a deep breath. "Passive." I stated, then taking a sip of the coffee. It was strong, and hot, but not undrinkable. It helped to wake me up. I glanced up from the cup to see the boys all giving me blank looks. "What?"

  "Is that it? Passive?" Jordan asked me , leaning back and folding his arms "huh, never thought about that." he mumbled.

  "Who's passive?" the twins asked me, their eyes showing confusion.

  I gave them a smirk and pulled the cup back to my lips. "I don't really want to say. I know it'll probably get to you guys..." I stated, before taking another sip. "damn, you like your coffee strong!" I gave him a slightly cringing look. I saw Jordan give me a wry smile and seemed to shy away a little.

  "we won't get mad." Josh stated, looking at his brother who nodded in agreement.

  "yeah. It'll help us play the Who's Who game!" Joe added, following his brother.

  "Ah, now I see it." I heard Jordan chuckle a little, giving me a look of understanding. I gave him a confident smile.

  I pointed to the twins, lowering the cup to my lap - but not letting go - and smirked. "Josh is the one who starts. He does things first and is more assertive. Joe follows, but not in a copying way. I guess he's a little shyer than Josh." I explained to the twins who gave one another a small look of contemplation.

  "Really? That's it?" they both asked together, completely in sync. I couldn't help but laugh a little. When they spoke in unison like that, it was way more difficult telling them apart!

  I nodded to them as I took another small sip of coffee. "yeah, but it's not that much of a deal." I stated as I drew my cup away and licking my lips. "Okay, so now it's your guys' turn." I gave them a glare, showing them I wasn't going to let them get away.

  Josh gave me a shrug and Joe looked away a little. Yes, sometimes they can be out of sync. But they are separate people so it shouldn't be surprising. It isn't to me.

  "How about we show you, instead?" Josh gave me a smug look and stood up from his seat, followed by Joe.

  My eyes widened and I looked to Jordan, who seemed to have the same perplexed look as me. He didn't know his own brother's hobbies?

  We got up after the twins and we all made our way after them. I still had the cup of coffee in my hands, but it was quickly snatched away by a pair of large hands. "Hey!" I retorted, pouting a little as I looked at the thief.

  "hey, it was my coffee in the first place, little brat" Jordan stated. He took a sip from the cup, giving me a smirk through his eyes.

  I gave him an evil glare, mouthing 'jerk' as we made ourselves upstairs.

  "should we be scared in any way?" I asked the twins as Joe opened their door.

  Josh gave me a cheesy grin. "You'll probably be surprised!" He gave a chuckle and I glanced at Jordan who was looking from his cup.

  I have never been into a guy's room before, other than Jordan's that time. And that was against my own will... In a way.

  He paused for a while, winking at me with his emerald eyes, before taking another sip. I could see his smirk behind the cup.

  I had to turn my gaze away before I blushed. Did he actually know what I was thinking?

  "Welcome!" Josh started, snatching my attention from Jordan, who seemed to be a little smug. "To our haven!" He announced as his twin indicated into the room.

  I was a little hesitant, but walked in first, getting a surprise on what I had stepped into.

  Chapter 12

  "Well?" Josh started. "What d'you think?" He asked, walking into his room and throwing himself onto his bed on the left.

  His sheets were pale green with some darker green rectangles and other shapes just scattered around the fabric. There was a bookcase to his left full of model cars and some baseball memorabilia. To his right, there was a pale green dresser,
obviously overflowing with all the drawers protruding at different lengths. A desk set at the side, covered with paper and pens.

  My eyes shot to the opposite side where Joe was casually sitting on the edge of his bed.

  This time, the sheets were reversed, with pale green shapes on dark green. He had a bookcase, too but it was full of baseball memorabilia and action figures. A similar dresser was on his left and seemed to be as cluttered as Josh's. A desk, similar to Josh's had a small HD TV and a game console on it, and a large stack of games underneath the desk.

  "Wow." Was all I could say. The room was amazing and, even at a glance, you can see differences in the two boy's hobbies. Joe plays video games whilst Josh sketches. Joe collects action figures, whilst Josh collects model cars.

  "Wow..." I heard Jordan mumble behind me sarcastically. I cast him a glare and he shrugged. "I was half expecting some sort of torture mechanism in here-ah, hey!" I slapped his arm.

  My face turned slightly irritable. "They're not murderers, Jordan." As I said those words, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. I shouldn't have mentioned anything involving death, I knew it never completely sat right with me when I spoke like that... My eyes narrowed as I placed my hand over my heart, clenching it to a fist. It seriously felt like somebody was piercing my heart with a jagged knife.

  My body tingled a little as I felt a hand on my back. "Yeah, I know THAT much, brat." I heard Jordan, still standing a little behind me, his hand on my back.

  Was he... Reassuring me?

  "So, Free!" I heard Josh, now sitting on his bed, his legs crossed and a big grin on his face. "You wanna hang with us in our room?" He asked me.

  "Well, I-uh..." How was I supposed to answer? I mean, I'll be alone with two boys in their room. Granted, they're my step-brothers, but they aren't actually related to me. Hang on... I was in Jordan's room a few days ago. Why was that okay, and being in their room isn't?

  For some reason, I glanced to look at Jordan. Perhaps, seeing if he'd answer for me? Wait, what the hell am I thinking?

  I turned back to the two boys and shrugged. "yeah, sure. Why not!" I answered, a smile on my face. It was rewarded by cheers from the boys as they bounced on their beds.

  I couldn't help but chuckle a little. Sometimes I could hardly believe they were the same age as me!

  "So, what d'you wanna do first, Free?" I heard Josh, a giddy smile on his face and his eyes sparkling. "We can kill zombies, draw zombies, plan an escape route through the villa, set up an assault course-"

  He began rambling on and on, so much so, that I had the sudden urge to gag him...

  I felt a hand slap my shoulder and a voice close to my ear. "Good luck, brat." Jordan whispered before leaving the twins' room.

  Josh was still rambling as Joe decided to grab my attention. "Sorry, Free. Josh gets a little too excited sometimes." He joked, laughing a little. "We can always just talk for a while." he added, and it seemed to grab Josh's attention enough to make him stop rambling about something unimportant.

  "Hey, that's a great idea, Joe!" He stated, jumping on his bed making it creak. "So, what d'you wanna talk about?" He asked, landing in a kneeling position, his hands out in front of him and a big smile on his face.

  I shrugged to the two boys. "I dunno. How about..." I had to think carefully of the topic. I know they'd ask me the same thing back at me, they were too predictable...

  "How did you get so good at baseball?" I heard Josh ask me.

  "Yeah. You're way too good for somebody who just plays it now and again, like us!" Joe stated, folding his arms and giving me a look of an inquisitive child.

  I looked away from the boys, focusing on the carpet below. I couldn't look them in the eyes, not with a question that I need to answer involving my mom....

  I swallowed. "Um... I used to be in my school's baseball team. So I got a lot of the practice from there." I stated. It wasn't a lie, I was in the baseball team.... As captain... But they didn't have to know that part.

  "Wow! A girl's baseball team!" Josh gazed at me wide-eyed.

  I shook my head at him and smiled. "No, it was a guys baseball team." I confessed. "I pretended to be a guy so I could play." Yeah, I wasn't joking. I really did. That's how committed to the game I was. The surprising part; nobody knew!

  Joe and Josh leaned back at the same time, giving me the same surprised look. "So back then, you had short hair?" I gave them a shy nod and saw their eyes widen and they both nearly jumped off the bed and into my arms. "Do you have pictures!?" They asked simultaneously.

  I shook my head. "No, I only kept one photo and it was taken last year when I grew my hair long. I don't have anything from the past." I explained, feeling my eyes sadden a little.

  I really don't have any memorabilia of my mother and me other than that ornament and the photo of us together...

  "Can we see it?" I was caught out my thoughts by Josh's question.

  I hesitated for a minute, looking at the two boys. "Sure, why not?" I shrugged at them before walking out of their room and towards mine.

  There's no point in hiding it. I mean, sure I may get nostalgic, but... I think, even if they aren't related to me by blood, the twins are still my friends. And, I think my mom would be happy to see my friends.

  She's already met Jordan. Too bad he was the first one for her to meet, I have a feeling if she actually met him, my mom wouldn't keep her eyes off him. Then again, nobody can. He just has that sort of attracting atmosphere about him.

  Wait, why am I thinking about Jordan? He has nothing to do with my mom, or the situation!

  "Morning, Justine"

  I had to quickly hide a blush as I picked up the photo and ran back to the twin's room.

  "Here." I handed the photo to the twins, sitting on Joe's bed, both with their legs crossed.

  They took hold of a side each and looked at the picture, their eyes widening. "Is that...?" Josh spoke first, looking to me. I felt my body shake a little, but I threw it off and nodded, a gentle smile on my face. He looked back at the picture, his eyes slightly shocked. "She's pretty."

  "It was taken just after my 15th birthday. We went to a carnival and had that picture taken there." I explained, avoiding the boy's looks.

  "You look so much like her, Free!" I heard Joe, who was glancing at the picture then back at me. "Although your hair is different..."

  Yeah. Kyle's hair. I brushed a strand off my face and behind my ear. "I was thinking of dying it a different colour. Auburn, maybe…”

  "No!" I jolted a little as I heard the twins both interrupt me simultaneously.

  "I like your hair as it is!"

  "It's beautiful as it is!"

  They said simultaneously, both of them saying 'as it is' at the same time.

  I couldn't help but blush a little. It faded soon after and my eyes narrowed with irritation. "But, it's the same colour as HIS..." I whispered, clenching my fists. "I wish I had HER hair colour instead!" I pointed to the photo, to my mother. "I don't want to be reminded who that man is! He has got nothing to do with my life, I don't want him in my life! he's the reason why SHE'S no longer here! It's HIS fault!" I started yelling.

  What was I doing? Why was I getting so aggravated? I guess I still haven't gotten over my past at all, no matter how hard I try to hide it...

  "Cry if you need to."

  I felt tears streaming down my face. "He's a Bastard! A Bastard!"

  "Scream if you need to."

  "I never wanted to go with him! I never wanted to be here!

  "You can't hold it all in..."

  I felt my knees collapse onto the carpet and my eyes fill with tears. What the hell am I doing? Did I keep all of it bottled up for too long? Did it just want to flow out of me the first chance it got? Joe and Josh must hate me...

  I suddenly felt arms wrap around me and I looked up to see the twins both hugging me.

  "It's okay, Free." Josh whispered

  "You can let your heart out as much as you want." Joe followed his brother
with the same volume.

  Through all my hiccups and my tears, I grabbed both of the boys shirts and lowered my head. "Sorry..." I choked, trying to stop myself hyperventilating.

  "There's nothing for you to be sorry for." The boys replied simultaneously.

  "You've been through a lot. It's only natural for you to still be unstable after a month." Josh explained.

  "We don't blame you for being upset. Whatever happened to your mother, it left a jagged wound." Joe whispered in my ear, beginning to clench his grip on me. "Let us help ease that pain..." He added.

  "Thanks... Guys..." I tried to speak between hiccups and tears, clenching tighter on the twins' shirts. "I... Miss her... I want... To see my... Mom..." I choked as I whispered, struggling to push the words out my throat.

  I felt the boys huddle closer and tighten their grip on me, resting their heads on either of my shoulders. "We know." They said together, rubbing my back reassuringly.

  The tears misted my eyes so I couldn't see, and the lump at the back of my throat was almost blocking off my air supply. I could feel my heart beating and aching. I hated this feeling, so, so much. I hated it. I hated it.

  "Y'know." I heard Joe start. "I bet your mom is really proud of you, right now."

  My eyes widened and I was able to look through my misted eyes up at Joe. He spoke first?

  "Joe's right." I turned to Josh who held a gentle smile. "You're trying your very best to stay strong. I couldn't even imagine how much grief I would go through if I ever lost my mom..."

  "And you're managing to smile and joke every day. You stay so positive..." Joe added. My tears had all but stopped and the lump in my throat was fading.

  "You're a great person, Free. And I'm sure your mom knows that, too." They said in unison, before holding me tight again.

  I no longer felt the need to cry. I still hyperventilated, though. But I managed to smile. A pure, honest smile. "Thanks, Joe. Josh." I whispered, nestling my head into the two boys.